Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
