Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you made out with another girl for some wings
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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