I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
