sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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