i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
