I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
