I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize