Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
