so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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