i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
