I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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