Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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