So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
