KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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