sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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