wanna go halves on a baby?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
