Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
