OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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