Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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