What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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