She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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