I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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