I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
