you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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