If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
