I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
