That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Randomize
