I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
