If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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