did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
