Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
