You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
