i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
