Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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