Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
