You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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