hotel room ftw
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
