dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize