So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm both gender and math confused
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
