I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
