I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize