either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
