just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize