I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
