So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
