Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
