When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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