I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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