how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
