i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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