finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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