ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
