i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
