allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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