i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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