did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
