just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
