I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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