Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
