You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
