ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hippo gnu deer
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
