East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
