She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
