I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
