so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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