i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
