Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
