you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Come on in and take your pants off
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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