The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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