He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
