why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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