If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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