you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
