the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize